On being Idle

24 years old. Finding out that I really have not lived. I thank God for moments with my family and meeting my girlfriend. But really all that time in school, time still in school and not really doing what I really would like to be doing.

Working 36 hours only recently changed from the regular 40 hour work week. For what? To go to school to end up yet again in a job that takes more of the only thing that human beings have on this earth TIME! However, minuscule or abundant. I want to spend more time with my parents who are getting older, to know who these people really are. Somali parents rarely open up to their children about their younger days. But I would like to know just who my father is, what did he get into when in Poland or Greece or any of the exotic places he has been to with my mother. Equally what are my mothers experiences in her youth. I want to spend my time with my girlfriend. To take her out and travel like my parents. Building our own memories, to wake up and know that every moment is spent doing what one wants and not a necessary evil. (job)

This is not a case of just doing nothing, but of always doing things that are ones own choice. Perhaps I need to create a simple rap song. One really good hook, and some meaningless pomp about perceived wealth and bang 1 million copies sold and something completely unknown in that industry actually hanging on to most of that. ;)

Good night

Heres a Blog from a week ago

I remembered a funny story that proceeds the actual tale of The Alchemist. It goes like this. Its said that when Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake which had been fresh transformed into a lake of salty tears. So the goddesses asked the lake why do you weep. And the lake replied I weep for Narcissus!
So they replied its no wonder for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand. And the lake replied But was Narcissus beautiful? And they replied Who better to know than you! After all it was on your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself! So the lake was silent for a time and finally said I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because in his eyes I saw my own beauty reflected.

This story was always interesting to me, shows how important we are, and for the most part only to a few people, in a short life. But it still amazes me what exactly we can accomplish in such a short time, and sadly how we also squander what little we are given.

haven't you wondered at the accomplishments of certain men and aghast at total wasting of energy, intellect f others. What I wonder separates. Will? Belief in ones abilities? When I was finishing up my training I remember how absolutely difficult certain people tried to make my transition, but nevertheless, I also remember waking up everyday and telling myself that I would do better TODAY! But I also planned ahead, each night I would write down what I learned and proceed to plan out step by step what I needed to do. I don't know where I got the strength, but am very thankful for it. Praise be to the King Amen! I could have easily given up, maybe it was anger a sense of trying to prove not only to myself, but to those in authority that I was not going anywhere.

I was able to get alot of studying done today, tomorrow I am off as well. I plan on going to the library early, I love it when there are very few people there. You can almost hear yourself think lool. Its been a good year, Alhamdulilah! I hope for another even better coming. Amen! Ramadhan is almost over and like every Muslim there is a bit of sadness, a holy month soo wonderful. In the beginning our bodies forget and pain for food, but after a few days you get used to it and you read the Quran, Hadith. There is a sense of closeness that cant be described to ones Creator I mean. May the Self-Subsisting forgive our sins and guide us all into Himself! There is a passage that always brings me to tears its something like this and God forgive me if I dont remember it all so well. When a servent of mine comes walking to me, God says I shall go running to him. I weep because who are we? That the one who created the very things I am sitting here trying to figure out should come running I should go crawling! Sometimes I look at equations and I think its Gods way of saying come and find me. It eases the initial frustration.

Affection, Acid Base Reactions, and Buns of Steel

The song goes. But shes patient in her comings, I need Love! Sister wisdom help me sing shes the one think that I need, the only think that I need.

I was definitely built for affection, just wondering where my better half is. Work was great, trying to fall asleep now, wish she was here to cuddle with. Whatever her name is wherever she is. There are monuments in your name, whole cities built, streets, homes and single solitary people going about their daily lives, all built on a memory of you a moment. All built in my heart, my lungs, and kidneys there is no place that isn’t yours anymore. Funny thing to write to someone you haven t even met.

Why am I always studying for Chemistry? I hate it when things don't come easy. Not that am allergic to hard work. I can write essays like no one can, I love literature, and art, history and languages. But math and chemistry don't come easy. Am even better in Biology! But you bet your panties am going to get nothing less than a B (God Willing) Please Please Please!!!!!!!!!!! :)

I was wondering how am going to actually set up my schedule now with the whole shift change. I get to the lab at 9:00 pm and leave at 7:30 am. So am going to need to workout, study before I go. Cause I really tried to study and workout at like 8:00 in the morning and I was like forget it! So I guess thats the plan. Ok back to studying and making good progress though. Work has been ok, only one person in my new shift is getting on my nerves. All of a sudden this man expects me to do all the quality controls for all the instruments every night and also to do the reruns/repeats if something doesnt work. Mind you we have to get this done between 1-2 and that am scheduled to take my break at 1 am. Yet still he says he cant rather wont do repeats/reruns even if am on break (loser) What happened to pt first care? Thank the Good LORD! I was called for a Donor Specimen before I had to do any of that the second time around. And guess who was stuck doing the work! HA! You guessed it that lazy fart! Thank You ALLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuZl9tRqjoQ

Went grocery shopping today. Got some:

1. Dannon Naural Strawberry Yogurt
2. Pepperage Farm Verona Cookies
3. Yuban Organic Coffee
4. Dole Fruit Cups (Peaches)
5. Soyburgers
6. Hummus
7. Tuna
8. Tomatoes (LOVE LOVE)
9. Lean Couisine TV dinners (5)
10. I cant believe its no butter
11. 24 pack water
12. Silk Soy Milk Vanilla

Am really trying to get to a point where all I eat is veggies, most of them I already had at home, but I love Tomatoes and constantly am out of them.

Good Night!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poptarts, Mountain Dew, and Sambus

Ever been on a downer only to read something simply delicious? I feel soo good right now, I cant imagine I was down over someone who really didnt deserve my time or attention! You know this boogy is for REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Yea thats right am listening to Jamiroquai!

And you know this is serious party on!

Mushy

Ever finally opened up to someone else, ready to give more of yourself only to find the door slammed shut in your face? Finding yourself confused and hurt. I don't like feeling vulnerable, its human I know. But certain times you wish things were different, then again maybe its all for the best, but now it hurts, now your bruised; but you will be strong tomorrow.

Tomorrow I play Tennis, and Saturday I visit Joanna for good music.

Am Back!

Had alot going on, family stuff, work, registering for school. Am tired but anther week another year.

Am actually seeing great results my body is starting to reshape. Cant wait to get to a tailor!

Push ups suck!

As if pull ups were not hard enough there are push ups that are just crazy in these dvds, damn those bomber push ups my hands hurt! But I feel good! Sticking to the diet so here is to a healther body!